Happy hump day! Already!
Sorry I skipped posting last night. Instead I spent the evening practising drug calculations and writing up notes about Men and Cancer study day I attended on Saturday. Exciting stuff.
Today I worked with another mentor who has the ability to pass or fail me on this placement. I hadn’t worked with her before. She’s really lovely, an excellent nurse, and not afraid to correct me and ask questions. She’s also encouraging. The problem is that I have come home feeling so unconfident it’s shocking. I think I must come across as a shy 18 year old rather than a confident 29 year old. I just hate getting things wrong and feel so self-conscious at being observed during my nursing practice that I turn into a bumbling idiot. At the beginning of every placement I always feel a like a nervous wreck for the first 1 month or so. Then, as if by magic, I get to the midway point and I suddenly begin to feel like I can do the job of a nurse. Right now though I just feel incompetent, slow, embarrsingly withdrawn, and hesitant in the tasks I’m doing. Surely by this age (and stage) I could just get a grip, feel confident that I know what I’m doing, embrace mistakes and learn from them rather than over-analysing and worrying about every move I make on the ward. I’ve had great and positive feedback, and only constructive criticism that will help me be a better nurse, yet still I feel the size of a pinhead. Tom and I chatted about it yesterday, he got impatient and told me I need to be more confident. He’s right, but it’s hard and unnatural for me. I can’t believe I’m going to be qualified in 6 months time. Where do others get their confidence from? Most of the students I’ve worked with come across as so confident, how? This is my current ongoing dilemma- lack of confidence, over-analysis of self, and frustration. Maybe it’s not such a happy hump day after all. Maybe I just need to get a grip! Is that the phrase?
My other dilemmas are: what to have for dinner? and shall I go to yoga this evening or to the pub with friends? or shall I go for a run or read my book ready for book club next week… See, my life is full of major decisions that must be made.
Ok, foodwise it’s been the same old, same old. However, last night we had an amazing and super-easy, foolproof stir-fry. Let the photo show begin.
Wide and shallow mugs are my new favourite vestibule from which to consume my breakfasts. This cup look like it’s floating.
This was the best dinner salad I’ve had for a while. The usual salad suspects but topped with chopped up, clearspring tofu burgers and ketchup. I don’t usually have ketchup on salads but it was necessary with the burger and just about worked!
Now then. This stir-fry from last night was a.mazing. Hence two crappy photos rather than one. It was just tofu burgers with veg that I stir-fried in sesame oil and then simmered in a sauce made of tamari, nut butter and sweet chilli sauce. Who would have thought such basic ingredients could create such greatness.
How has your week been going? Do you feel your age? If not, how old do you feel?